PSA

I know this public service announcement won't change anything since the target audience for this post is males, specifically those on online dating sites.  And lets face it, the people who read my blog are my family and girlfriends...but, I feel it needs to be said anyway...

Guys,

This is the deal...you are horrible at picking photos of yourself.  Please consult your mother, a sister, coworker, cousin, or one of the many female "friends from high school" shown in your albums.

Strictly forbidden are:

Bill Cosby Sweaters: unless you add a caption stating you won the Ugly Sweater Contest with said sweater,  I'm going to think you like this sweater, think it looks nice on you and will wear it when you're in public with me, which I am not looking forward to.

Cats: unless it's a mountain lion you wrestled to the ground to prevent from eating a small child, or a lion you saw on your missions trip to africa, I don't want to see any cats wandering around your photos, ESPECIALLY when you're wearing the cat...I don't think a cat draped over a man's shoulders is attractive and makes me question the phrase "old cat LADY"

Cleavage: of any kind, especially of the excessive variety.  Even though you captioned the photo with "friend from high school" so I know it's not an ex I still don't want to see down her shirt.  It's not classy.

Celebrities: in the flesh, cardboard cutouts or photoshopped in.  I don't want to see celebrities in your pics.  Seriously, it doesn't impress me.  Have I mentioned that trying to impress me is the biggest turn off?  When a man tries to impress a lady it comes off as just that-trying.  If you are a classy guy (which I'm sure you are) then just be the person you are and that will impress me...or, it won't, but at least you will have been true to yourself.

Unidentified Children: Who is this precious child that is in your pic?  If you don't caption the photo with: niece/nephew,cousin, little bro/sis or something like that I'm going to assume it's either your kid or you grabbed a strangers kid for the photo to make it appear that you are good with children.

Multiple Large Group Shots: You're popular, I get it.  You have a lot of really great friends and you do so many fun things together.  However...sometimes, I can't tell which one you are if you haven't clearly captioned it, and also, I usually can't really get a good look at you because group shots make each person a super tiny part of the pic.  And finally...your best friend...he's pretty cute, since I don't think it's going to work out for us, can you introduce me to him?

Moving on...some issues we have with filling out the profile questions:

Your stats say your don't have kids at home.  To a woman that means you don't have any children.  Anywhere.  To a man, that means you don't have a kid standing right in front of you at this very moment.  So, I'm confused when a man says he doesn't have kids at home yet is thankful for his children.  That means kids live with the mom?  Now I'm more interested in knowing why you are so thankful for your kids yet they don't spend time in your home or they aren't important enough for you to put a "yes" on the have kids at home line, than I am in reading the rest of your profile.

When you answer the question "What's the last book you enjoyed and why?" with "I don't really read." You've got to know I applaud your honesty (even though I'm already reaching for the "close match" button) but at minimum could we list the Bible, since it's one of the things you just told me you can't live without?

"One thing your passionate about" does not equal "any interest I've ever had, ever, in my life" it means ONE THING you are passionate about.  Perhaps, God, Jesus, My faith, Family, relationships with loved ones, continuing to expand my knowledge, etc.  Unacceptable answers are: trucks, video games, trains, airplanes (ok, lets just say anything that is a mode of transpiration should not be the ONE thing you are passionate about) hunting, fishing, paintball, (ok, lets add all outdoor activities).  I'm not saying those are bad things, I'm just saying if you are asked to list one and only one thing you are passionate about, I think it should be something more important than paintball...really...you're more passionate about video games than your family, or God?  Hmmm...

A few positive things I've seen:

When you answer the question "One person (besides parents) that has influenced your life" with something honest and vulnerable like your special needs sibling, your grandma, YoungLife leader, etc it's endearing.  When you're open share things like that it shows me that you aren't trying to be a tough-guy and realize you've needed people along the way.  When you answer it with: I've done it all on my own I think you're a jerk.  When you say Jesus, I agree but I think it's an easy out and I want to know more about your interactions with the people in your life.

Thank you for pulling something I said in my profile and asking me a question about it, it makes me feel like you actually read what I had to say and didn't just click through my photos and decided I was pretty enough to communicate with.

I'm a sucker for any guy who posts a photo with his mom.  Shows me you love and value her.  And if you don't treat your mom right, I know you aren't going to treat me right.

If you're liking what you're reading, get on it, man!  I'm on this dating site because I WANT to meet someone, so kudos to the men who initiate communication and keep the process moving at a comfortable pace.  I get more excited about you when you're pursuing me, and I'm more likely to agree to a date if you've not dilly dallied around.

The truth is, I know there are some GREAT men on these sites.  It's just frustrating looking at each piece of hay in the stack to find the needle.  But I know that God is in control and who knows, the man he has for me might be a cat loving, x-box playing, ugly sweater wearing, slowpoke.  But lets be praying against that :)