Pinterest Thursday

The things I found on Pinterest this week stay consistent with my conviction to be healthier and more honoring to God with my relationship with food:

I'm known for saying I'm going to workout later and
then it never happens...I'm embracing this and 
just getting it done ASAP.

Click for some great bfast options... 
whether you're paleo or not, these look delicious!

I think I've done this with my post from yesterday...

Click for some great kettle bell moves!

And this site called My Body Gallery.  You can enter in your height/weight and clothes size to see pics of real women who are your same size.  I always say I want to see what I really look like, because I know that how I see myself in the mirror isn't what I really truly look like.  We all (women in particular) suffer from what I call Michael Jackson Syndrome...you know, we look in the mirror and certain things always look out of proportion to us...like how Michael saw his nose.  Anyway, I found this site helpful but also brutal...

Click here to follow me on Pinterest.

Food & God (Part 1)

Its no secret that I love food.  I'm not one of those "eat to live" people.  I'm more of the "live to eat" variety.  Though I've always been active and maintained a healthy weight, I've struggled with food for years.

When I was in high school Papa thought I was anorexic.   I was not.  I've never starved myself, trust me-I can hardly make it if I miss a snack.  If I've had any sort of eating disorder, it'd be compulsive overeating.  Most people don't believe me because I'm not overweight, but those who are close to me know that I often cannot control myself and binge eat.

I've been trying to get a handle on it for the past few years and at times have been successful.  Most times, I can even stay in my calorie range but the calories are sometimes made up of handfuls of chocolate covered almonds, or a bag of chips.  Sure, I love the taste and texture of chocolate covered almonds but I'm not downing them because of that.  I find some sort of fulfillment and satisfaction in eating them that I simply don't find in eating something healthier.

Be not among drunkards or among gluttonous eaters of meat,for the drunkard and the glutton will come to poverty,
    and slumber will clothe them with rags.
Proverbs 23: 20-21

For years I never had to worry about calorie count or food consumption, I was blessed with a high metabolism and have always been extremely active.  At 32, I'm at a healthy weight.  When I graduated high school I was the same height I am now and weighed almost 40 pounds less.  Sure, I was incredibly skinny and hadn't finished developing my womanly curves, but 40 pounds is not a small amount.

As I entered my mid-late 20's, I noticed that I'd gain a few pounds after a holiday weekend, or a birthday party.  I wasn't able to drop the weight in the week that followed as I'd always been able to.  When life started getting heavy, I turned to food for comfort more than ever, and it just so happened that my metabolism was slowing down.  I became consumed with fear that I'd soon become overweight so I started exercising more.  I tried to eat healthy foods and control my portion size.

I'd be able to keep up a healthy routine for a bit then the wheels would fall off.  I'd have a stressful day, my feelings would get hurt, or I'd just give in to my monthly cravings.  A bag of Doritos, or a carton of Ben & Jerry's later I was left feeling like a failure and ashamed.  Nobody listened when I said I was feeling fat because even if I gained a few, I was still at a "healthy" weight.  "Give yourself a break Linsey" they'd say..."it's ok to indulge every once in a while."

Well...I'm a black and white person.  All or nothing.  "Once in a while" isn't in my vocabulary.  I either do it ALL THE TIME of NOT AT ALL.  Most things that cause problems in life can be handled in this manner...if you're an alcoholic, you completely give up drinking.  When you realize you are addicted to nicotine, you stop smoking.  People praise you for your bold and courageous steps.  Hold your hand through the hard times and celebrate your success.

Since turning my life over to Christ, I've cut certain things out of my life.  Not because God told me to. But out of the love I have for Him, I desired to change my life to be more pleasing to Him.  To remove things that were preventing me from fully walking with Him.

For example...there is a guy who causes me to stumble.  When we are together we talk for hours but were never able to stop there.  We'd end up making out and I knew it wasn't going anywhere because 1) He doesn't love Jesus and 2) there is no 2... #1 is enough to kick someone to the curb in my book.

So...this guy and I would make out then I'd feel like crap because I knew that's not what I should be doing.  I knew that what I truly wanted was a husband, a strong Christian man who would be the spiritual leader of my family.  And making out with this guy wasn't going to help me get there.  My heart would be a mess because my God made me a relational person-I wasn't designed to have casual physical encounters with people.  I was designed to make an emotional connection with the person.  That's God's design, and time and time again I tried to fight it, to ignore it, to pretend I was some sort of cool, casual go-with-the-flow person who could handle making out with someone and be ok with not being in their actual life.

So...what does this have to do with food and my unhealthy relationship with it?  Easy, two things actually...Check bad Friday for the rest of this discussion.

Steal My Show

God reminds me over and over that this life is not my own, I am here for His glory.  For Him to use me in whatever way He needs to further the Kingdom.

I could go through my day looking out for me, what's going to make me happy in each moment, never worrying or thinking about what might benefit those around me, or I could turn my day, and my life, over to God and allow Him room to move in me and through me to bring light and hope into places I would never be able to on my own.

When we step back, take my hands off and relinquish "control" of things to God, He is able to do  exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).

Check out TobyMac's explanation of his song "Steal My Show"

Sisters Of Compassion

Last week I got a phone call from Compassion explaining that the discount code they gave me when I registered for my trip to Uganda was incorrect and instead of my trip costing around $1,500 it's going to be more like $3,100 plus airfare to/from Washington DC where our group meets.

Ugh.  I already paid the non-refundable deposit of nearly $400 and I'm almost done with one of the blankets I'm knitting for my girls, plus I really really want to go, but that's a HUGE difference in cost.  Some people have suggested I call them back and explain that it was their mistake so I shouldn't be responsible for the new balance.  Part of me feels that way too.  But when I stop and think about this organization, which is set up to help children, I know that if I get them to pay the additional portion, the money isn't coming from some rich guy's pocket, it's coming from a place its desperately needed.  I'm not willing to take money from an organization that helps kids, even if it was their mistake.  I know that God will provide, He always does.  

I'm asking for prayers for faith that it will all come together, and for calm while it's all getting figured out.  Thank you for supporting me through prayer.

Ashley!!

My roommate from my previous Uganda trip, Ashley, is also struggling to figure out finances for the trip.  She isn't registered yet but I am praying that God will also provide her with the ability to make the commitment to this second trip to Africa.  It would be such a blessing and sweet time for us to be back there together.  She sponsors a boy named Joseph (11) who she met last time, but now also sponsors a girl named Rose (18) and will be able to meet her for the first time.  Ash also has Stephen in Ghana who is 10 years old.

Ashley and I were paired up as roomies based on age, at least thats what the trip leader will tell you.  The truth is that God knew exactly what He was doing when he put us in a room together.  Ash and I met up at JFK because our flights arrived within minutes of each other.  We then walked over to meet the rest of our tour group.  By the time the group leader arrived, she thought we'd come together and had been friends for years.  Nope, we'd just met a few hours prior.  Some of the other sponsors though we were sisters...

Ash, Joseph, Me and my girls, with other
Compassion Kids

We stayed together the entire trip, sitting together on the bus, next to each other at meals and when we met our kids the last day there, we played together like a big happy family.

I haven't seen Ashley since we parted ways at JFK in November 2011 at the end of the Uganda trip.  She took a plane back to Oklahoma and I was on my way back to Chicago.  We've talked on the phone, emailed, and texted but haven't seen each other.  Its strange to think about going to Uganda and not having Ashley there.  We bonded over the shared experience, but it is deeper than that too.  We are two women, who though have lived very different lives, have gone through similar heartache and trials.  God put us together to strengthen each of us separately but also to form an even stronger team--we've both become Compassion Advocates and have challenged each other to become more involved and invested in the cause.

I love this girl and I'm praying that God will provide a way for both of us to make this trip together.

Ash and Joseph

**Ashley is also a Compassion Corespondent which means she writes letters to kids who don't receive letters from their sponsors.  She writes to Jushua (10, Philippines), Shadrack (9, Tanzania) and Ines (4, Bolivia).  This woman writes to 6 kids on a regular basis...sometimes I find it hard to write to my two regularly.  These 6 kids are being loved on by her and will be changed forever because of it.

Marci on the far right is also making
the trip back in October!

If you'd like to Sponsor a child (it's only $38 a month) or donate to any of the other Compassion programs, click here for more info.

Menu 2/25-3/1

**I'll be using items I made ahead and froze...click here for that post.

Monday: Stuffed Chicken Breasts, Broccoli, Bread

I STILL haven't made this...every time it's on the menu something happens...like the car breakdown so I can't get to the store...anyway, we'll see if this gets made or if something else prevents me from serving it!

Tuesday: Pork Chops, Corn Bread, Green Beans 

Again, Pork Chops from the freezer...I believe this is our last bag...but who knows, that freezer seem to hold endless amounts of things!  We all love cornbread (now that Pho can have it!!!) and easy peasy green beans!

Wednesday: CrockPot Lasagna

I will use the last spag/lasagna sauce mix from the freezer so assembly can happen quickly in the morning as I get the girls' lunches made and breakfast on the table!

Thursday: Dinner Out

We don't make it home after school on Thrusdays anymore because we don't have time after dance ends and swimming begins.  We'll be eating at Whole Foods, Epic Burger or Panera this night.

Planting Seeds

I have an opportunity daily to show the light and love of Christ to my girls.  I sometimes think "I could be doing so much more for God if I just moved to Africa!"  but then I remind myself that a soul is a soul, whether it's in Africa or here in Chicago.  God is jealous for each of us, He wants every single one of His children to turn to Him and accept His Son as their Lord and Savior.  As much as I think I'd like to move to Uganda, I know God has me here, right here, for a reason...3 reasons actually.

The girls weren't really sure what a Bible was when I started working for them.  When I pulled out my Bible to work on the Job study I was going through at the time, the girls stopped playing Barbies and asked what I was doing.  Since then, it's become a familiar sight--the girls playing or doing homework, and me reading my Bible or working on a Bible Study.  Phoebe even checks in a few times a week to see if I'm keeping up with my daily reading (I'm doing a Bible in a year plan) and if I've done my pages of reading/workbook for small group.

We listen to KLOVE in the car (because I don't wanna have to explain what DJ's are talking about or what Ke$ha's lyrics mean...) and God often provides openings for me to talk about what I'm reading or answer a question with a Biblical perspective.

My prayer each day as I drive to work (it's a short prayer because work is only 1.2miles away) is that this family would see that I'm different than everyone else they encounter in their daily lives, but that it wouldn't be me that they see, but that it would be Jesus.  That His light would shine through me and into the darkness.  That I would serve them as Jesus would and that I would serve them as if I were serving Him.

I understand that I may never know what comes of the seeds that are planted in the time I have with the girls.  That I have to give to God.  Trust that He will soften hearts and open eyes to His truths.

I do know however, that my girls get it.  They get that I'm different than other people they encounter.  Little comments like, "Linsey would NEVER do that!" or the way they now look for homeless people to give their snacks to instead of getting upset when I give their snacks away while at red lights.  

And this...this past weekend the whole family went to St. Louis to explore the City Museum and take in the Arch.  On Tuesday (I had Monday off) the girls handed me a little brown bag and said they'd gotten/made me a gift.  In the bag was this:

A bracelet (made from a shoelace from the Shoelace Factory) with cross beads on either side of my initials.  I love that when they think of me, they think of the Cross...or maybe it's that when they see a cross they think of me.  Either way, I know those are seeds that will one day sprout.  And that is just enough for me!

Pinterest Thursday

Valentine's Day was Pinspired this year...

Pink heart pancakes, struck with a strawberry arrow, heart shaped
sausage, fruit skewers and festive paper goods!

A powdered sugar heart design would have been a nice touch-
maybe next year!

Red confetti cupcakes with pink and white swirl frosting topped with
all sorts of festive sprinkles...decorated by my Sunday night kids!

Lucy's Valentines...conversation hearts
appropriate for 7th grade girls!

Phoebe working diligently on her Valentines

I'm glad you're in my school...with swedish fish!  

I apparently forgot to take a picture of Amelia's Valentines...homemade brownies topped with valentine sprinkles cut into hearts!  

To follow me on Pinterst click here.

What's Not To Love?

This past weekend two pieces of my heart finally made their way back to Chicago.  When I moved here five and a half years ago I accepted a nanny job, and though I was relieved to finally have an income, I had no idea that the decision I'd just made would alter the course of my life.

Dev was 2 and a half months old when I started taking care of him.
I was the first person besides parents and hospital staff to hold Z when he came along two years later.

These little guys hold huge pieces of my heart.  I've watched a lot of kids in my days but never had I spent so much time with any two kids.  I was there 40 hours a week for nearly 4 years by the time they moved to Arkansas.

These people are more than bosses and "kids I used to nanny."  J and V are my friends.  No, they are my family.  They know everything about my life, they've seen me at my best and at my worst and loved me just the same.  The boys consider me part of their family.  Dev didn't understand why I didn't stay in Arkansas with them when they moved...all he'd ever known was my coming over every day--I was part of his life and his life was now in Arkansas, it seemed I should be there too.

We didn't spend a ton of time together this weekend, but every second of it filled my heart with pure joy.  Dev, an incredibly smart, quick and humorous kid has developed into a gentle and thoughtful older brother.  Z, though going through a bit of the "terrible 3's" is funny, inquisitive and sweet to the core.

A few highlights of the weekend:

*While sitting on the potty at the MSCI, Dev looks at me, sighs and says, "It sure feels good to be home with you in Chicago."  I wasn't sure where the "feels good" comment was going as he was on the potty...

* Getting ready to snuggle with the boys and Z started screaming for no apparent reason.  Me: Are you hurt?  Z: NO!  I'M MAD!!!  Well, thanks for the honesty kid!

* Snuggling with the boys Saturday and Sunday night at the hotel.  Going to get snacks, eating them while watching a show and giggling until way to late because nobody wants the night to end.

Munching on hotel snacks watching a show...faces of angels I tell ya!

C'mon Linsey, we saved you the middle!

Riding the train...is this not the cutest little Z you've ever seen?!

At the Paulina stop D says, "We've been here before.  We looked out
this thing onto the street down there then got on the train going that way."
Yep, this kid has a memory like none other!

Growing up so fast, but he'll always be my little D!

Snuggling Gerald and Piggie of "Elephant and Piggie" fame
(Valentine presents from me)

Look how long those legs are!!!

Sitting on the trolley at the MSCI...I was told to "sit right here Linsey"

Snoopy hugs

Playing Schroeder's piano at the Peanuts Exhibit

More Like Falling In Love

Growing up I had a very legalistic view of Christianity.  The only thing I was ever exposed to was along the lines of "You better follow God's rules, or else."  Well, I didn't want any mart of that.  Why follow the rules?  What made those rules so important?  How was anything going to be different if I did or didn't follow the rules?

I'm the kid who has to touch the burner to make sure you aren't just saying its hot--I need to verify that it actually is hot.  I'm the kid who wouldn't take, "because I said so" for an answer.  I needed you to explain why I couldn't have a cookies before dinner.  "Because I said so" makes you an illogical tyrant.  Once you explained that a cookie was going to spoil my dinner, that cookies didn't have the nutrition that I needed to grow big and strong, but that the dinner that was on its way would fill me up with proper vitamins and give me the energy I needed, I realized asking for a cookie every night was pointless.  Also, offer me an apple if I'm starving...there is no need for a kid to be hangry...just sayin.

So, you get the picture--I'm not ever going to just believe something because someone tells me to...that's just not how I work.  I need reasons, proof.

Once someone finally explained that Christianity isn't about following rules (I'll break them) but a relationship, one that develops over time, between me and God, things started falling into place for me.  I never understood why people would just follow a bunch of rules because someone told them to.  I was raised in a home that taught me to question everything, even authority, if things didn't make sense to me.  (I'd like to add that I was taught to do so respectfully)  And nobody ever explained that when someone loves you to the point of giving anything to be close to you, and you return that love, you want to abide by their desires for you.

I guess once I finally saw the other side of Christianity, not the "religious" side, but the relationship side, I was done for!  I'm such a relational person-I love loving people, especially if those people love me.  When it became a heart issue and not a head issue, it was easy to jump in, to turn my life over to God and live for Him, and His will for me.

This Jason Gray song never grows old, because it speaks exactly how I feel...It's gotta be more like falling in love than something to believe in, more like losing my heart than giving my allegiance.

Made With Love

Florence surrounded by the gifts I brought for her

When I went to Uganda in 2011 I had no idea what to expect.  We were asked to bring items to be distributed to the Compassion Sites we visited as well as things for our Sponsored Children.  I filled bags with crayons, stickers, gum, candy, bandaids, journals, markers, shampoo and soap.  I made photo albums for my girls with Bible verses mixed in.  I crammed two very full backpacks into the largest piece of luggage I owned and though I couldn't possibly fit anything else in them, I just knew I was missing something that would benefit the families of my girls.

This time, I'm taking a different approach.  Yes, I will cram as many art supplies, toiletries and goodies as will fit in my luggage, but for my girls I decided to make things a little more personal.  I'm most likely never going to see Florence again (she ages out of the program the week after I'm there) and though I pray I will see Specioza at least one more time, there are never any guarantees...2 trips to Uganda in 3 years is already more than I ever thought I'd be able to manage.

Specioza unloading her backpack of goodies

My roommate from the last trip, Ashley, knit a blanket for her boy, Joseph.  And I was impressed.  Material objects, though necessary to some extent, never compare to handmade items, literally woven with love. This time, I decided to knit my girls each a blanket.  Much to their dismay, they are going to be purple...my favorite color.

Back when we were standing with our feet in Lake Victoria, I asked the girls their favorite colors...orange and red.  When I told them mine was purple they looked at me like I'd grown a third eye.  "Why?" they asked, with furrowed brows.  "Uh, well, it makes me happy...it brings joy to my heart...I think it's pretty?" Was that a suitable answer?  I'd never had to defend my choice of favorite color before.

So, there it is, I'm making blankets for my girls in my favorite color, not theirs...but only because I already had a ton of purple yarn.  I'm knitting just straight knit stitches with a double strand...it's moving along quite nicely.  I've used almost 6 skeins so far and I'm about halfway done with the first blanket.

The first blanket...so far

I'm just looking forward to giving the girls something made with my hands, with love, for them.  A personal item that will hopefully show my girls that though they are far away, I think about them daily.

If you'd like to help support me in my journey to Uganda I would love prayers and if you're compelled to give a financial gift, the money will be used to cover my travel expenses as well as purchase items to be given to the Compassion sites I'll visit.  If you'd like to donate items, email me for a list of what is recommended.

To learn more about Compassion or to sponsor a child, click here.

Menu 2/18-2/22

**I'll be using items I made ahead and froze...click here for that post.

Monday: Thuringer Sausages w/Mashed Potatoes, Green Beans

Smoked thuringer sausages from the local meat market and two easy sides.  Perfect for a monday.

Tuesday: Chicken Tacos, Lucy-made Guac, Corn/Peas 

I'll use the Frontera Skillet Sauce over shredded or cubed chicken.  We make our tacos with small tortillas, refried black beans, chicken, cheese, avocado and tomato.  I'll heat up a mixture of frozen corn and peas to partner with Lucy's homemade guac and chips.

Wednesday: Chicken Soup, Cheddar Biscuits

I still have one huge container of Chicken Soup Base in the freezer from my "make ahead" day, I'll pull that, toss it in the crockpot, add a little more broth and let it heat.  Before serving I'll add some pasta (I've been using the "Cut Spaghetti" and the girls love it) and a cubed zucchini.  I'll make some cheddar biscuits and call it a night!

Thursday: Dinner Out

We don't make it home after school on Thrusdays anymore because we don't have time after dance ends and swimming begins.  We'll be eating at Whole Foods, Epic Burger or Panera this night.

Shoulder Rubs and Eye Rolls

The girls and I talked about "love languages" the other day.  I mean, I didn't use that wording, but we discussed that people give and receive love differently.  It all started when Amelia stood behind my chair at Sbux and started rubbing my shoulders.  Pho just can't handle it when this happens, "I can't believe you do that for fun!" she says with disgust.  Poor little Mia pauses and says, "What?  I don't mind!"  That was enough to provoke a famous Phoebe snort and eye roll.

Mia, always wanting to please her sisters was stuck between a rock and a hard place...does she continue to rub my shoulders resulting in my happiness or does she stop because her sister doesn't think it's cool?

Well, I certainly didn't want her to stop so that's when I said, "Pho, that's how she shows me love.  She knows I like my shoulders rubbed and it makes her happy to make me happy in this way."

This resulted in a convo about how each of the girls shows me love...

Pho shows love by being helpful, volunteering when I need a helper, letting me know exactly what is going on at all times and asking about my day.

Lucy, well, she's a different story.  I had to find proper wording...I went with, "You show me love very differently than the other two girls.  It's less frequent, but"  And that's when she chimed in, "But, Linsey!  You KNOW I LOVE YOU, right?"

Yes, Luc, I know you love me.  It's just few and far between.  It comes out in little ways that others might not notice, like a very thoughtfully worded message in a Christmas card--it appears nice to anyone else but there is hidden jokes or secrets we've made that only I would notice.  Or the booklet of "32 Reasons I Love Linsey" she gave me for my birthday.  The quick, "I love you Linsey" every once in a while as she closes the car door when I drop her off at school.  Those are the moments that make it all worth it.  They fill my cup and give me the energy to do it all again tomorrow.

I ended the conversation by telling them that it is important to know how the people in our lives receive love the best because even if that's not the way we usually show love, it's important that everyone around us feel loved.

By no means an award winning conversation, but yet, you never know what these seeds might grow into.

I love these girls.

Know who else I love?  My little Arkansas boys...they'll be in town all weekend and I can't wait to get my hands on them!!  Pics next week!

Happy Friday!

Pinterest Thursday

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Spread some love, send a valentine to a sick child at the Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago.  Their goal is 8,000 valentines so each kid gets one and they can plaster the walls with love.

Seriously, it only takes a minute and it'll brighten a sick little kiddo's day.

Click the card below to send yours!

This is the card I selected, but there are other options!

To follow me on Pinterest, click here.

V-Day

So, Valentines Day is tomorrow.  As a single person, people sometimes act like I should go around with sackcloth and ashes all day.  Well, I've got news...Valentines Day doesn't bother me.  In fact, I enjoy it. I love celebrating love, friendship and family.  Who cares if I don't have a "significant other" my life is filled with so many significant people...my little girls, my girlfriends, family...this day doesn't make me feel any more or less lonely than any other day of the year...I know that when the time is right (being His timing, not mine) I'll have a "Mr. Right" to celebrate with.

Plus, I've never really bought into the whole Valentines Day thing...if you love me, you should show it all the time...it shouldn't be reserved for one day in the middle of February.  Though I do wonder if this holiday was created by someone living in Chicago-I mean, it might be the shortest month of the year but February is always, and I mean always the longest, harshest month of the year here.  Maybe a lovey-dovey holiday mid-month was meant to break up the monotony of soggy feet, rogue salt crystals, and crappy parking.

Anyway, I have some special things planned for the girls tomorrow...but I can't spill the details--never know when Lucy might decide to read my blog!

How are you celebrating?

Sure, this looks like love, until you see the pic below...

Now, this is love (and ridiculously adorable!)