Alarm Clocks, Enchiladas And So On...

I was super skeptical about this whole new way of eating.  When Monday morning rolled around I was ready to prove Whole30 (and everyone who swears by a paleo diet) wrong.  

I have the same routine every Monday...wake up at 630, arrive at work at 7.  Make girls breakfast, and around 730 make myself a protein shake (usually chocolate powder with berries and maybe a banana and some greek yogurt) and have a little sausage patty too.  Drop the girls at their school around 820 and head to the gym.  Run for 15-20 min depending on time and then do a cardio/weights class.  At some point during class I usually feel a little woozy...blood sugar dipping, lights starting to fade.  By the end of class I'm pretty hungry but I immediately run to the grocery store for work to get that out of the way.  I might snack on something I have in the car--clementine, almonds, protein bar, etc.  I'll eventually eat something around 1130 but by that point I'm STARVING!

This Monday, I got up at 6 (enough time to make breakfast) ate my hash with two eggs at 630 and headed to work at normal time.  I got the girls dropped off at school and headed to the gym thinking, man, I ate a whole hour earlier than normal, this gym class is gonna suck, I might pass out.  I ran a mile because that's all I had time for and then headed into the class.  By the time class was over I realized, not only was I still not hungry but I also had never felt the low blood sugar thing.  I ran errands like normal but didn't have a snack at all.  Eventually, I made it home and had a hard boiled egg at noon because I knew I needed the protein and headed off to a daytime babysitting gig...ate my chicken taco salad around 1 and still wasn't feeling that dreaded starving sensation.

What the what?!

It actually worked.  I was shocked!  I talked to mom about it and she was like, yeah, Lins, this works and I think it will be amazing for your blood sugar issues.

Moms...why are they always right?!

Ok, back to that taco salad...I love me some taco salad and for the past year or so I've been using ground chicken and mixing in a pouch of Frontera Grill seasoning...super delicious.  However, my pouch-o-deliciousness is not Whole30 approved...time to make my own seasoning...

Click here for recipe

I googled "Paleo taco seasoning" and came up with this recipe which I followed exactly.

Delicious.  I put the chicken over a bed of spinach and added some onion, tomato and avocado.

That lunch kept me full till late afternoon when I hit my munchie phase of the day.  I was good though and had a cup of this amazing Tazo tea I saw for the first time at the store...seriously the Herbal (decaf) Sweet Cinnamon Spice tea tastes like dessert...but no sugar!  Even Phoebe liked it!  She thought I'd added sugar, that's how good it is!

I also had a small handful of cashews to hold me over until dinner which I didn't eat until about 8pm.  I've realized I'm not eating enough post-workout.  Instead of having a post-workout meal I've just been having a snack and I think though I'm not necessarily feeling hungry at the moment, I need to eat something sort of substantial pretty shortly after working out.  I think that will prevent me from being starving later on.

All in all, I think this is working.  I've spent a lot less time thinking about food.  Let me rephrase that--I have spent a lot of time thinking about food, but not in a "what can it do for me emotionally" way, but in more of a "is this good fuel for my body" kind of way.

Lucy's Dinner...

It hasn't been without a few temptations though.  I made the girls chicken/cheese/bean enchiladas Tuesday night for dinner...so even though I'm allowing myself to eat "normal" dinners the rest of March, I wasn't able to enjoy these enchiladas because I had dinner plans with a friend after work.

Their dinner looked so good...but I wasn't about to eat two dinners.  Plus, four off limit foods rolled into one delicious item?  Seriously, I could eat the chicken, and that's it...no cheese, no beans, no tortilla, no processed enchilada sauce...but man, did Lucy's plate tempt me!

I decided that since dinner Wednesday night was going to be crock-pot lasagna, and though I do like that, I wanted an enchilada more.  So, I packed up one enchilada (sans beans--I make some without because Mia doesn't like them) for myself for the following day.  I'd skip crock-pot lasagna and have the tempting enchilada instead.  Which is exactly what I did.  And it was so yummy.  I topped it with half an avocado...you know, for some good fats...

So, I ate the enchilada for lunch...what was I to have while the girls were eating lasagna for dinner?  Think, think, think...it needs to have veggies, protein and be delicious.  Here's what I came up with...it's a little unorthodox but man, was it delicious.

I spooned a ton of steamed broccoli I'd made to accompany the girls lasagna into a bowl, topped it with leftover chicken that didn't make it into the enchiladas the day before.  Simple, tasty and healthy.

While I was eating that, I was also making "paleo pancakes" which are simply just one mashed banana mixed with one raw egg, a little cinnamon and a tiny pinch of salt, spooned onto the griddle and then topped with fresh fruit salad I'd made earlier in the day.  Heaven.  Paleo Pancake Heaven.

Prayer And Fasting

I spent the weekend fasting and in prayer.  My prayers were as follows:

*Remove food as an idol in my life
*Focus on spiritual health vs physical appearance
*Lean on God and not rely on my own strength to resist temptation and be disciplined
*Run my own race and don't compare to anyone else
*God centered eating and exercise going forward

My time in prayer and in the Word centered me again in Christ and revealed where I need to focus and which things I need to cut out of my life to reduce stress and striving.

As far as my relationship with food...

I decided to jump into this Whole30 thing.  (Check this blogpost if you don't know what I'm talking about)  I decided waiting till April 1st was going to be too hard...I was seeing myself binging until then which is not good.

Setting myself  up for success is the only way this is going to work.  My biggest fear is dinner.  I can (with the help of God) eat Whole30 all day and then dinner strikes...I cook for the girls Monday through Thursday and there is no way they are going to hop on the Whole30 bandwagon.  I decided to gear up during the next two week by sticking to Whole30 until dinner, then still making the wisest decisions possible...reserve a chicken breast for myself before assembling chicken enchiladas, put my spaghetti sauce over mushrooms or spaghetti squash instead of pasta.  And use this time to try recipes, get my freezer and fridge stocked with quick dinner options that are Whole30 approved so when April 1st rolls around it'll be an easy transition.

After fasting, I was psyched to go grocery shopping and start making some Whole30 meals...I ran into a slight problem...I only have one third of the fridge.  How am I to keep all sorts of produce, protein and eggs on hand when I only have half of one shelf, a produce drawer and a shared deli drawer...

Menu planning!  Turns out menu planning is pretty much a life saver...at work and at home!  I sat down, looked at my week and planned each workout and meal.  Made a list and minimized unnecessary impulse buys.  I vowed to try things I haven't liked in the past (like sweet potatoes) and give everything a fair shot.  I ventured into the world of coconut oil, clarified butter and vegetables like asparagus and brussels sprouts...

Next up...making the recipes!  Check back tomorrow for the first few recipes I've attempted!

Pinterest Thursday

Sorry about not posting yesterday, not sure what happened there...

Getting pedicures when Mama Cindy was in Chicago

Anyway, my mom, the beautiful Mama Cindy, started a new eating program almost 2 weeks ago called Whole30.  She told me it was like Paleo but even more strict.  More strict?  How can it be??

I've been anti-Paleo for years now.  Not that I think there is anything wrong with the plan, just not for me.  I've had friends thrive on the Paleo diet but I've chosen to believe I can be healthy while maintaining some sort of "normal" eating.

The past few weeks I've posted about my struggle with food and how it's affecting my spiritual health.  How I was going to eliminate binging from my life and find a healthy way to deal with food.  I was going to rely on God during my times of temptation, limit unhealthy foods that are my triggers (candy, sweets) and focus on healthier options.

I gave myself an inch...wiggle room...permission to eat things I know aren't good for me as long as I ate them in moderation.

Problem...I took a mile.  I, at this point in my life, can't operate in "moderation."  I'm addicted to food.  To eating.  If it was alcohol, nobody would ever say, "yeah, try not to have a drink, but if you have a few sips, its ok...just do it in moderation."  Much like an addict of any other variety, I have a hard time operating in the grey.  I'm  black and white, baby.  All or nothing.  I gave myself permission to have 4 malted eggs (my favorite Easter candy) and for the first few days I did fine.  Then...all hell broke loose! The bag is almost gone, I think I ate at least 20 eggs today...ugh!!!

After thinking about it, spending time in prayer and looking at a calendar I decided to start Whole30 on April 1st.

If I want to see drastic change in my relationship with food (and my body) I need to be willing to make a drastic change.

Giving myself "moderation" and "grey" isn't working.

I need to make it clear that my goal going into this isn't going Paleo longterm.  It's simply to take things back to basics...remember why God gave us food, reset my cravings, focus on health-emotionally, physically and most important, spiritually.

It's going to take planning and lots of preparation to fill my shelves, and subsequently my belly, with "permissible" foods.

Check out some of these pins for more info on Whole30:

To follow me on Pinterest, click here.

Going Green

A little bit of everything!

I've been making green smoothies for about a year now.  Sometimes once a day, sometimes once a month...just depends on my mood.  In my attempt to find a way to manage my tendency towards binge eating (read about that here) one quick and easy change is making green smoothies a regular part of my diet.  (I use the word diet as in "things I eat" not meaning "weight loss plan")

The family I work for has a Vitamix which allows me to throw anything and everything in without worrying about a clumpy shake.  I mean, this blender will whip raspberry seeds into oblivion.  Anyway, I've made a ton of different variations of the same basic recipe.

I start with a large handful of kale and another one of spinach.  I'll buy it fresh but after a few days I'll toss the bags in the freezer and just grab handfuls from there.  Then I'll add any combination of the following (I try for a 50/50 split of fruits and veg but I think it ends up more like 60/40, heavy fruit)

Whole apple, cored

Cuties

Grapes

Frozen Mango

Frozen Pineapple

Frozen Peaches

Berries (fresh or frozen) just don't use too many or you'll end up with a brown smoothie

Cantaloupe

Banana (fresh or frozen)

Baby Cucumber (whole)

Snap Peas

Carrots

Broccoli (I don't recommend this, it was gross)

Fresh Mint (this minimizes the bitter greens taste and works really well with the citrus)

Clearly I made too much...

I use a little ice, some water or oj depending on what I've tossed in.

I'll also add some:

Hemp Seeds

Flax Seeds

Chia Seeds

If I need the calories I'll toss in a scoop of 0% Vanilla greek yogurt.  I don't put protein powder in mine because I usually do a protein shake for bfast.  Plus, the seeds I add give me enough protein to get through the afternoon.

I never measure anything and usually end up with too much of a good thing...but a full glass of this will give me something to sip on all afternoon while I'm driving the girls around or sitting and helping with homework.  I find that if I don't have a smoothie to drink I'll eat whatever snack I've brought for the girls and lets face it...I don't need to be using up my precious calories on Ritz or Pirate Booty.

Made enough for 3 days!!!

Here is a link to more green smoothie recipes.  What have you tried and liked??

Apples And Bananas

Last week I posted about my struggle with food.  Read about that here.  Since then, I've been trying to really think about the things I put in my mouth and why I'm putting them in my mouth.  At first I thought, well, I'll just eat healthy things all the time, like apples, veggies, lean protein, and then I won't have to worry about it. 

Look for my green smoothie recipe
on Friday!

Well, people...I can tell you one thing-this girl sure has eaten a lot of fruit, veggies and lean protein.  I even made a salmon dinner last week at work (check out Pinterest Thursday tomorrow for the recipe) but I've found that my unhealthy relationship with food has no boundaries.

It's not kept away by leafy greens and omega-3's.  

Turns out that there is such thing as "too much of a good thing."  I mean, sure, my body doesn't care quite as much when I eat too many grapes vs eating too many brownies, but spiritually there isn't a difference.

I can eat carrot sticks but still be sinning.  Yep, that's right Lins, it's only partly about what you put in your mouth, the majority of the problem is the why you're putting it in your mouth.  When I start eating to deal with an emotion or because I'm stressed, or just simply because something is sitting in front of me, it doesn't matter what I'm eating, it's wrong.  

Food is meant to sustain life.  To fuel our bodies and minds.  It's not meant to be our shoulder to cry on, entertainment, best friend, therapist, pastor or savior.  It doesn't matter if it's chocolate covered caramels or broccoli florets if my intent is not simply to nourish my body.  Overeating is overeating.  (I need to mention that under-eating is also equally as sinful...we are asked to treat our bodies as temples and neglecting to nourish the body is preventing it from functioning as God intended...)  

Yes, overeating apples will get a different result than over eating cookies, but since my goal here isn't physical change (though that will be a result) but spiritual change, gorging on apples (or anything for that matter) is unacceptable.

Please don't mistake this post as a scolding (to you or to myself) but just as what it is-my thoughts on paper...ok, maybe not actual paper...but you know what I mean.

I've promised to be transparent, honest and open about my journey to a better relationship with God through fixing this issue of sin in my life so I feel its important to come clean when I've given into temptation...

This is the recipe I use but I make 

2 bags of  popcorn and do 

1.5 times the caramel mix...

Last week I was asked to bring snacks to a thing I was attending.  I came home one night around 930 and set out to make marshmallow caramel corn which is basically my new go-to snack...quick, easy, and super delicious.  So, when it's done and cooling, I started my nightly routine of checking email, Facebook, etc.  I just happened to be sitting right next to the pan of cooling popcorn.  I said "go ahead, Linsey, have a little bite and be done."  Which was fine.  But it didn't stop there.  "A bite" became a few bites and then the justification started..."you have enough calories left over, you worked out today, one more bite will be fine and then stop."  But I couldn't.  I ate too much...not a binge or anything, but I couldn't stop when I knew I needed to.  Once I realized this, I quickly put the popcorn in a container with a lid, and placed it into a bag and set it by the door so I could grab it in the morning.  I brushed my teeth and closed myself in my room for the remainder of the night.

I've thought about it and here is what I discovered: 

*I have zero (or less than zero if that's possible) willpower/self control after about 7pm.

*When I'm tired I can't say no to sweets in particular.

*There is a point where I realize what I'm doing and actually make a conscious decision to keep eating even though I tell myself to stop.

*When I tell myself I can't have something I know that's the first thing I'm going to eat and I'll eat extra just to "punish" myself for telling me no.

*When other people are around I feel it's ok to eat whatever I want and in high quantities because either a) nobody will notice or b) others are doing the same.

On the flip side, here is how I've started to handle some of those things:

*I've started eating a healthy and filling snack before going into a group setting where I know food will be available, then I allow myself to eat as many fruits/veggies as I want and have one bite of something else...literally one bite...I took a spoon and scooped out a bite of cupcake and walked away...

*I brush my teeth and stay out of the kitchen when I know I'm reaching the point of "no-return"

* There is always a healthy snack in my backpack so I can grab it instead of making an impulse buy when I'm hungry and away from the house.

*I always know what I'm going to be eating next and when I can eat it, this prevents me from making rash decisions because I'm starving or don't know when I'll eat next.

*Praying each morning that God will remove obstacles to my honoring Him in this way and that He'll give me strength when I'm faced with temptation.

* I use a small bowl for anything that needs a bowl--cereal bowls are no longer in my rotation, and I also only use small salad plates for my food, this way it looks like I'm eating a lot but my portion sizes are within reason.

*When I recognize that I've made the conscious decision to over-do it, I don't berate myself but instead say, "Ok.  That happened." walk away and take a few minutes to consider why/how it happened, pray for forgiveness for making food an idol and MOVE ON.  

I don't believe it's healthy to beat yourself up over a misstep.  My God knows I'm trying to honor Him and that it's HARD for me.  He sees me struggle and is happy with my progress.  He appreciates when I come to Him and ask forgiveness and helps me find ways to do better next time. If God can forgive us, shouldn't be be able to let it go and move on with change in mind for next time?  

A wise woman once told me that it's impossible to expect yourself to go from an "F" in a certain area to an "A" the next time you face the same situation.  Though ultimately our goal is to be like Jesus, we are human and progress vs. perfection is what we should be focused on.  If I got an "F" last time, I should see the progress that's been made when I get a "D" next time.  And improve from there for the time after that.  Through God's work in and through us, we will become more like Jesus, it just won't happen overnight...though that sure would be nice, wouldn't it?

Made To Crave

I found this devotional series while searching through the Bible app on my phone and since having a healthier relationship with food is my focus right now, I thought it was fitting.

Yesterday's devotional really struck me.

Made To Crave

“I’ll start again on Monday” are the ill-fated words that I’m certain have passed through every woman’s mind since the beginning of time. Whether it’s an excuse regarding our diet, exercise, temper, or devotional time, this phrase cycles through our lives on a regular basis. Or, is it just me? 

For example, on a Saturday morning, I head down to my kitchen vowing to do better, eat healthier, and make good choices, only to have my resolve melt like the icing on the cinnamon rolls my daughter pulls from the oven. So I conclude the weekend is the worst time to begin eating healthier and tell myself, “I’ll start again on Monday.” 

However, I find myself nagged by the subtle feeling of defeat, disappointment, and frustration. This crushing cycle of powerlessness that I’ve come to hate continues. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wander around on a fruitless path unable to enter into the abundant life God has for me. 

Today I challenge you to start a new cycle of making God your focus, rather than food. Each time you crave something you know isn’t part of your plan, use that craving as a prompting to pray. I crave a lot. So I’ve found myself praying a lot. Potato chips and brownies now prompt me to pray! God gave us the gift of prayer to turn our times of desperation into relationship opportunities with Him. This cycle is far more promising than distancing ourselves from His goodness with our own sense of self-loathing and defeat. 

For example, when we make God our focus, we can wake up in the morning and say “God, I want a biscuit this morning. Instead, I’m eating poached eggs. I’m thankful for these eggs, but I’ll be honest in saying my cravings for other things are hard to resist. But instead of wallowing in what I can’t have, I’m making the choice to celebrate what I can have.”

What better way to live than fully in today rather than always looking to start over on Mondays!

I am totally guilty of this.  Sometimes I'll even wait for the next month to start...if the 1st of the month is also a Monday you've hit the jackpot!

What really hit me is just being honest about things...I want this but I'll eat this instead, and thanking God for what he's given us rather than bemoaning the fact that we don't/can't have what we really want.

I'm praying that I'll crave God instead of food, that I'll find my fullness in Him and not sweets.