Hot-Mess-Bitter-Spoiled-Brat, Party of 1

Man, I was a mess last week.  Well, not really the whole week...just most of it.

I went over to my bestie's house on Thursday night for dinner and as I drove over I just burst into tears. Its a 2 min drive, btw.  Anyway, I had just had enough.

Enough of being alone.

Enough of being poor.

Enough of people not understanding that I'm alone and poor.

Basically, it's the worst combination imaginable.

Or so I thought.

Within a few minutes I'd ranted about all the things that were wrong in my life and then I started listening to what I was saying:

"How am I supposed to afford that when I'm trying to save for vacation?"

Oh really, Linsey?  You're mad because you might have to miss out on a few things here and there so you can afford a nice vacation?  Yeah, I hate to break it to ya sister, you aren't poor.

Even as the words were coming out of my mouth I wished I could retract them.  How can I complain about things like that when there are starving kids in Africa...starving kids right here in Chicago?



Bless Hannah's heart for putting up with my crazy and not kicking me out or punching me in the face...though I think I could have used a "swift kick in the fanny" as Papa used to say.

By the time I left her house, my belly was full of "Fresha Shushi Shampaals" (as the cute little sushi chef calls out as you stroll around the Jewel) and delicious baked apples--one of Sifri's specialities.  My heart was also comforted.  Just being reminded of God's goodness and love.  That He does have a plan for me and it most likely isn't for me to be "stuck" here for the rest of my life.

It's hard sometimes to see the forrest for the trees.  All I see are the things I want so badly but don't feel will ever be mine; instead of seeing all the things God has brought me through, saved me from, protected me against, given so freely.  Am I destined to be a single lady, living with 2 roomies and working as a nanny for the rest of my life?  Doubtful.  But as long as that's where I'm best used for the Kingdom, that's exactly where I'll be.

Until change comes knocking on my door, I'll continue to pray for ways to bring Him glory in my daily life and though I'll never stop asking for a husband, I'll follow it up with "Your will and Your timing, God, not mine."  But this time, I'll try to actually mean it.

My Past Life

Lucy asked me the other night what I was in my past life.  Looking at this as a moment to speak some Jesus into her life, I answered her with a very serious, "I didn't have a past life." To which she shook her head, looked at me with that sideways glance that says trouble is brewing, and whispered, "I understand, but sometimes its fun to pretend, isn't it."  As she then glanced at her little sisters and added, "for them."

OH!!!  We're in pretend mode/imagination land...sometimes it's hard for me to tell!

So, after thinking a moment I said, "Well, I was most definitely a mermaid in my past life."  Which received rave reviews from Pho and Mia.  Lucy was less than impressed.  So I added, "And I could sing too."  Which got me thinking..."I was Little Mermaid in my past life!!!"

The crowd roared with approval!!

Lucy got a serious look on her face, eyes focused, nose wrinkled ever so slightly, brow furrowed...her thinking face.  Little did I know, but she was about to take all the wind out of my sails...

"It's like you're the exact opposite from your past life.  You aren't a mermaid, you can't sing, you breathe air, you have legs, you can't get a husband, your dad is dead instead of your mom and instead of being babysat, you're a babysitter...wow!!  Everything is the exact opposite!!"  Thanks Lucy.

Everything I don't have  in this life...

The little girls and I decided that we were all mermaids; the singing sisters portrayed in the movie.  Lucy again did not like that idea..."I was not a mermaid!" she said.  Now, it was my turn to rain on her parade.  "Lucy, you were the seagull, Scuttle." Again, huge applause from the peanut(free) gallery, Pho and Mia, but huge displeasure from Lucy.

We also decided that Clover, the family german shepherd, was Prince Eric's dog and that's why she likes me so much in this life--I married her owner in our past lives.  The girls' dad (my boss) was determined to be the old butler guy...jury is still out on their mom (my boss) as we can't make her Ursula...we'd all be grounded/fired for that one...

Kids...I tell ya, they sure do make dinner entertaining!  And I thought it was going to be a boring night of homemade chicken alfredo...boy was I wrong!

Supper Nanny?

I think I just handed down the world's greatest "punishment" to our dear Lucy.  For the past two days (after returning from a 4 day school canoe trip) she has been nothing but sass.  The amount of disrespect she has shown me in the past 24+ hours has been ridiculous.  I warned her several times, but to no avail.

Finally, on the car ride home from school, I had had enough.  I told her I was going to take away a privilege.  Last time it was Harry Potter...all 7 of them.  She was devastated.  I made her pull each one (she has multiples of some) off her shelf and give them to me.  She was sobbing.  Mind you, I didn't take away reading-her one true love-I simply took away reading Harry Potter.  For 3 days.  Oh, she died!

This afternoon she immediately asked what the punishment was.  I drew a blank.  I couldn't pull the Harry Potter trick again, but what would work this time?  I told her I'd let her know when I'd figured it out...I figure there's no shame is saying I need time to think about it-hits home the fact that I don't have punishments "at the ready" because their behavior rarely needs correcting...right?

All evening she asked what the punishment was.  Still nothing had come to me.

Finally I figured it out.

I told her to sit on the couch and to remain there until I notified her that the punishment was complete.

I gathered her two little sisters, booted up my computer and let the punishment being.

Amelia, Phoebe and I sang along (at the top of our lungs) and danced to one of our favorite songs...the one, the only, Say My Name.

See, Lucy HATES my singing, almost as much as she hates my dancing.  The little girls and I had a blast and poor Lucy kept saying "This is torture!" to which I replied, "You sassing me the past two days has been torture."

Lucy enduring her "punishment"

Surely, you won't find this recommended in any parenting books.  So, I'm unorthodox.  I doubt she'll ever forget the time her nanny punished her with singing and dancing.

Puppies vs Cats

I'm a nanny.  It's not what I do, it's who I am.

I LOVE kids.  And kids love me too.

I've been working as a nanny for over 10 years with three different families.

I helped raise premie triplets from birth till their fifth birthday.

I was with Goo and Bug from the time Goo was 2 months old, and I was the first person (besides mom/dad and hospital employees) to hold Bug when he was born...they are now 5 and almost 3years old.  The day they moved out of town (one year ago) was one of the hardest of my life.  Luckily, they have super awesome parents, we've stayed in touch and I've been able to visit them every few months, as well as FaceTime every other week or so.

I've been with Lu, Pho and Mia for the past year and let me tell you--having three tween girls is incredibly different than having two little boys.  The boys were like puppies...they waited for me by the door, jumped, circled and yelped when I walked in, sometimes they might even leave a little puddle.  At the end of the day, they followed me to the door and pressed their noses to the glass as I walked away.  I was a jungle gym, a comfy place to curl up and sleep and they depended on me for everything: if they were hungry, I fed them; if they needed to go potty, I was in charge; if they were sad, hurt, mad, I was the one to make it better.  I was licked, pawed, peed on, covered in kisses, and I loved every second of every single day.

The girls...well, they are like cats.  I have to hunt them down when I walk in the house, and nobody seems to care when it's time for me to leave.  My presence is generally only requested when someone needs money, a favor, or food.  Every now and again, I'll get someone curling up in my lap wanting love...but as it ends almost before I realize what's happening and my lap is empty once more.  I get hissed at when I request homework be done, and I must be the most embarrassing person that ever walked the earth...I'm constantly getting looked at like I stepped on someones tail.

That being said...I know they can't help it.  Girls are different than boys and tweens are different than toddlers, preschoolers and kindergartners.  It's not their fault-I was the same way when I was their age-it's just a part of life.

But...every once in a great while, the cats will drop their guard and fill up my little love cup.  For my birthday they each made me a card.  I commented to the oldest (Lu, almost 13) that I loved her card because I hardly ever get to hear her say nice things to me.  I walked in the next day and this was sitting on the counter:

Here are a few of the things she wrote:

* Has a sense of humor (a good one)
* Is willing to try new things
* Cooks, and cooks, and cooks some more (and cooks some more)
* Listens to most things you have to say (non-nonsense things)

Maybe they are puppies, just disguised as cats...