Hot-Mess-Bitter-Spoiled-Brat, Party of 1

Man, I was a mess last week.  Well, not really the whole week...just most of it.

I went over to my bestie's house on Thursday night for dinner and as I drove over I just burst into tears. Its a 2 min drive, btw.  Anyway, I had just had enough.

Enough of being alone.

Enough of being poor.

Enough of people not understanding that I'm alone and poor.

Basically, it's the worst combination imaginable.

Or so I thought.

Within a few minutes I'd ranted about all the things that were wrong in my life and then I started listening to what I was saying:

"How am I supposed to afford that when I'm trying to save for vacation?"

Oh really, Linsey?  You're mad because you might have to miss out on a few things here and there so you can afford a nice vacation?  Yeah, I hate to break it to ya sister, you aren't poor.

Even as the words were coming out of my mouth I wished I could retract them.  How can I complain about things like that when there are starving kids in Africa...starving kids right here in Chicago?



Bless Hannah's heart for putting up with my crazy and not kicking me out or punching me in the face...though I think I could have used a "swift kick in the fanny" as Papa used to say.

By the time I left her house, my belly was full of "Fresha Shushi Shampaals" (as the cute little sushi chef calls out as you stroll around the Jewel) and delicious baked apples--one of Sifri's specialities.  My heart was also comforted.  Just being reminded of God's goodness and love.  That He does have a plan for me and it most likely isn't for me to be "stuck" here for the rest of my life.

It's hard sometimes to see the forrest for the trees.  All I see are the things I want so badly but don't feel will ever be mine; instead of seeing all the things God has brought me through, saved me from, protected me against, given so freely.  Am I destined to be a single lady, living with 2 roomies and working as a nanny for the rest of my life?  Doubtful.  But as long as that's where I'm best used for the Kingdom, that's exactly where I'll be.

Until change comes knocking on my door, I'll continue to pray for ways to bring Him glory in my daily life and though I'll never stop asking for a husband, I'll follow it up with "Your will and Your timing, God, not mine."  But this time, I'll try to actually mean it.