What's Not To Love?

This past weekend two pieces of my heart finally made their way back to Chicago.  When I moved here five and a half years ago I accepted a nanny job, and though I was relieved to finally have an income, I had no idea that the decision I'd just made would alter the course of my life.

Dev was 2 and a half months old when I started taking care of him.
I was the first person besides parents and hospital staff to hold Z when he came along two years later.

These little guys hold huge pieces of my heart.  I've watched a lot of kids in my days but never had I spent so much time with any two kids.  I was there 40 hours a week for nearly 4 years by the time they moved to Arkansas.

These people are more than bosses and "kids I used to nanny."  J and V are my friends.  No, they are my family.  They know everything about my life, they've seen me at my best and at my worst and loved me just the same.  The boys consider me part of their family.  Dev didn't understand why I didn't stay in Arkansas with them when they moved...all he'd ever known was my coming over every day--I was part of his life and his life was now in Arkansas, it seemed I should be there too.

We didn't spend a ton of time together this weekend, but every second of it filled my heart with pure joy.  Dev, an incredibly smart, quick and humorous kid has developed into a gentle and thoughtful older brother.  Z, though going through a bit of the "terrible 3's" is funny, inquisitive and sweet to the core.

A few highlights of the weekend:

*While sitting on the potty at the MSCI, Dev looks at me, sighs and says, "It sure feels good to be home with you in Chicago."  I wasn't sure where the "feels good" comment was going as he was on the potty...

* Getting ready to snuggle with the boys and Z started screaming for no apparent reason.  Me: Are you hurt?  Z: NO!  I'M MAD!!!  Well, thanks for the honesty kid!

* Snuggling with the boys Saturday and Sunday night at the hotel.  Going to get snacks, eating them while watching a show and giggling until way to late because nobody wants the night to end.

Munching on hotel snacks watching a show...faces of angels I tell ya!

C'mon Linsey, we saved you the middle!

Riding the train...is this not the cutest little Z you've ever seen?!

At the Paulina stop D says, "We've been here before.  We looked out
this thing onto the street down there then got on the train going that way."
Yep, this kid has a memory like none other!

Growing up so fast, but he'll always be my little D!

Snuggling Gerald and Piggie of "Elephant and Piggie" fame
(Valentine presents from me)

Look how long those legs are!!!

Sitting on the trolley at the MSCI...I was told to "sit right here Linsey"

Snoopy hugs

Playing Schroeder's piano at the Peanuts Exhibit

Choosing Joy

Remember all those posts about hating the waiting process and how grumpy I have been lately?

Well, I'm feeling the attitude change I've been needing.

Recently, God has answered prayers in several of my friends lives.  Some of them I mentioned in this post...and here we are just a few weeks later and God has moved.  He's stopped the waiting, answered prayers, given gifts, shown His love, and given the desires of hearts.

Sure, I could sit here and be all fussy that their prayers were answered and mine hasn't been.  But instead, I'm sitting here, tears of JOY running down my face, because my friends are happy and my God is GOOD.  Faithful.  Gracious.  Loving.

I know that God doesn't just work in other people's lives, but He works in mine too.  And if He is answering their prayers, I know mine will someday be answered too.

This time of waiting is temporary.  I know that the friends and family who are still waiting will see God working in their lives, feel His presence and witness first-hand His ability to provide us with the desires of our heart.

I've determined that I can choose to be mad that I don't have what I want, or I can choose joy, as God provides all I need.

A husband isn't God's way of saying, "Good job Linsey!  Because you are so amazing, your prize is a husband!"  A husband is God's way of saying, "Linsey, you will better serve me with this person by your side.  I need to place this person in your life to continue to refine you."

When I think about it that way...maybe I'm ok waiting :)