Menu 10/1-10/5

October 1st-5th (5 meals this week)

Monday: Stuffed Chicken Breasts, Sliced Potatoes ,Green Beans

I made this exact meal once before and the whole family LOVED it!  I recommend doubling the filling, the girls didn't think there was enough last time I made it.

Tuesday: Spaghetti, Broccoli, Bread

Last time I made spaghetti, I browned 3 pounds of meat and put half in the freezer (with some sauce) so I'll just be pulling that out and throwing it in the crockpot to thaw.  All I'll have to do is boil some noodles, steam some broccoli and slice some french bread.  Easy peasy!

Wednesday: Chicken Tacos, Peppers and Corn

I marinate chicken breasts in garlic, onion powder, a little olive oil and some chili powder.  Cook, and cube.  I'll also use the Frontera Skillet Sauce for chicken if I thought to pick some up.  We make our tacos with small tortillas, refried black beans, chicken, cheese, avocado and tomato.  Fresh peppers and steamed frozen corn on the side.  Last time I made tacos, I made a TON of chicken so I have a bunch in the freezer ready to go.  I'll thaw it overnight, pop it into a pan and add a little more seasoning to moisten as it heats.

Thursday: Scalloped Potatoes and Ham (CP)

I've never made this...we'll see how it goes! This recipe makes 2 meals.

Friday: Mac and Cheese, Hotdogs and Peas

I've never made this recipe for mac and cheese but I thought I'd try it out.

Grocery List:

Chicken Breasts

Basil

Cream Cheese

Bakers

Green Beans

French Bread

Spaghetti Sauce

Tortillas

Avocado

Tomato

Refried Black Beans

Frontera Skillet Sauce (Chicken)

2 Ham Steaks

New Potatoes

Broccoli

Cheddar Cheese

Milk

Fun Shaped Pasta

Advice

I have been reflecting a lot lately (fall just naturally seems like a great time to reflect) and something I've been really thinking about is all the great advice I've been given over the years.  Here are just a few knowledge-bombs that people have dropped:

As a pastry chef, I had one boss who saw me through the hardest years of my life.  Constantly checking in on me, giving me a break when I needed it, and acting more as a mentor/cool advice giving uncle than a typical boss. He gave me some of the best advice I've ever received...he pulled me aside one day, and though shaking like a leaf (a sign he was about to say something that was going to be hard for me to hear)  he said, "Linsey, you always say 'I can't handle this!' You're an adult...your job is to figure out a way to handle it.  You can't get by on that anymore."  I hear his voice in my head at times I find myself wanting to throw my arms in the air and shout, at nobody in particular, "I can't handle this!" His words have seen me through a lot of rough times, and I am forever thankful that he cared enough about me to sit me down for a hard conversation and tell me it was time to grow up.

My current boss has told the girls "make very few promises, and keep them all."  Which is a very good motto to live by. The Bible says:

Matthew 5:36-37:

And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. ³⁷ Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.

James 5:12

Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. All you need to say is a simple “Yes” or “No.” Otherwise you will be condemned.

And finally, Papa (my father) must have said a million times to me as I was growing up, "Life is not fair.  The sooner you learn that, the easier your life will be."  And I'm reminded of that constantly.  If life was fair, I would have hung on that cross and not Him.

Here is Citizen Way's new song "Should've Been Me"

Pinterest Thursday

Fall has hit Chicagoland.  Normally, I'm not a big fan of fall, I'm most definitely a summer baby.  BUT, this year, I'm actually loving the crisp mornings and sound of leaves crinkling as the wind blows through the treelined streets.  Pinterest has certainly made me want to go out and invest in an entirely new fall wardrobe, but alas, that is NOT in the budget...I'll just have to dream instead...

So...I'm seeing a lot of scarves, boots and basic tops.  A lot of accessories, few unique pieces of outerwear and an AMAZING dress...sorry, that one isn't so much "fall" as it is "I love dresses and have always wanted to  have an amazing back so I could pull off something like this two-tone dress."

What trends are you spotting for fall?

To follow me on Pinterest, Click here

32 Things...Part 2

Another installment of 32 Things For My 32nd Birthday (click here for part 1)

When I look back on this year, I'd like to be able to say, is the year...

* I spoke positively more than negatively

This is not me...but I like her style.

* I began writing to my Compassion girls at least once a month

* Other's problems became more important than my own

* I stepped aside and stopped fighting God for the reins

* I listened more than I talked

* Fear of failure no longer prevented me from jumping in

* I sought God more than the counsel of others

* I sent out birthday cards on time to my family

I Need A Miracle

Third Day's new song, I Need A Miracle could be the story of my life.  Every time I hear it I'm thrown back to my "pre-Jesus" days.

I lost my father when I was 22.

When I was 24 I started dating a guy and four months later I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant.  What?!  I was on birth control, how did this happen?  I guess someone has to be the 1% right?  Well, this time it was me.

We went to the doctor and heard the heartbeat.  It started setting in...I was really going to be a mom.  The guy I was dating was amazing, and he was as excited as I was.

Then, at the 12 week check-up, there was no heartbeat.  Miscarriage.  What!?  How could this be?  I was in shock.  How could this happen? My body was holding onto the fetus even though it was no longer alive so I went in for a D&C which was the worst experience of my life.

I will never, as long as I live, forget the feeling of complete despair that set in as I started to come-to in the recovery room.  I was so distraught, they broke hospital rules and allowed my boyfriend to come in and calm me down because the nurses were unable to.

For the next few months I cried.  All the time.  I sat and cried.  My boyfriend didn't know what to do with me.  He would drive me to a different point on beautiful Lake Coeur d'Alene each evening and sit next to me as I sobbed.

I remember being mad.  I'd never experienced such anger.  And it wasn't focused anger, I would yell that the trees were ugly and stupid and I HATED them.  And how was I supposed to go to work tomorrow if I didn't have nail polish remover to remove the chipping polish?  Why didn't anyone understand that I couldn't explain how I felt or why I felt that way?

I was at the end of me.

I needed a miracle.

That's when I finally recognized that I couldn't do this alone.  All my life I said Christianity was just an excuse for sad people with miserable lives to feel better because "everything happens for a reason" and "He won't give you more than you can handle." Well, I didn't consider myself a sad person with a miserable life, but I needed something.  Something besides myself to make all of this pain worth it.

I needed a miracle.

It was all worth it somehow, if there was a greater purpose.

The one-two punch of losing my dad and losing my baby was just too much to deal with if it didn't mean anything.

I needed a miracle.

I told myself that if Papa were still alive, I could cope with the loss of my baby.  Or if I hadn't lost the baby, I'd be able to continue dealing with the loss of my father.

I simply couldn't carry on doing both.

I needed a miracle.

God showed up in my life.  And when people ask how I know God exists, I don't immediately point to the Bible.   I tell them instead about how I was a lost child, looking for the comfort of my father's arms which I thought I'd never feel again; after all, my earthly father was gone.  What I found instead was truly a miracle.  I found a Father who not only created me but also loves me so much more than my earthly father ever could--and I didn't know that was possible.  I found forgiveness, mercy, grace and salvation.

I found Jesus.

And that was a miracle.

You're Supposed To Have Curves...

You've read all about Lucy and her take on me and my life.  But what you don't know is that her sister, Pho, is maybe the sweetest almost 11 year old around.  She's the middle sister, so she and I have bonded on such things as: constantly being picked on by older sister while simultaneously being unable to pick on younger sibling due to "baby status" held worldwide by all youngest children which protects them from the same cruel and unusual punishment handed down by oldest to middle sibling.

Anyway, I digress...she, much like me gets hangry and on occasion steam has been seen coming out her ears, but she has a big heart and so much love to give.

The other day while we were waiting for Lucy after school I was recounting my day for Pho: dentist, trip to target, etc.  

Who doesn't think Marilyn's
curves are beautiful?

"What did you get at Target?"

"Uh...some shapewear."

"What's that?"

Lets see, how do I explain shapewear to a skin and bones, completely innocent, pre-pubescent girl?

"Well, you know that wedding I'm going to in a few weeks, and that dress I'm planning on wearing?"

"Yeah.  It's really pretty Linsey."

"Thanks.  Well, I feel like I might be a little lumpy in it.  Shapewear is tight material that sucks in all your bits so you look smooth in the dress."

Without missing a beat, Pho replies, "You don't need that Linsey.  You aren't lumpy and you're thinner than most people out there."

"Thanks Pho.  I still feel like maybe I could use some help sucking in a little, ya know, I just have some extra shape."

"What do you expect Linsey?  You ARE a woman after all.  You're supposed to have curves."

Clearly she's my favorite.

And yes, I was the woman walking around Target holding shapewear, 3 boxes of tampons and some advil.

Welcome to my life.

What do you expect?  I'm a woman after all, and it's totally acceptable...just ask Pho.

Meal Planning/Grocery List

My cousin Jenny posted on her FB that she would love for someone to post a menu and grocery list because she is in need of fresh ideas.  Well, I thought I'd see if I could step up to the plate and help a sista out.

A few things you should know going into this:

1. I have one child who has an egg and peanut allergy so all recipes are nut/egg free.

2. I cook for 3 hungry tween girls and 2-3 adults.  Sometimes it's enough, sometimes it's not.

3. I don't cook for the family on Friday night so you'll only see 4 meals here.

4. I'm assuming you have a stocked pantry and will only be adding ingredients to the grocery list that I know I need when making a specific meal.

5. I do at least one crock pot meal a week because that's what works best for my schedule, all crock pot recipes are marked with (CP).

6. Sometimes I make double or triple a recipe and put half in freezer, but I'll note when I am accounting for this in a recipe.

7. All grocery list items will be color coded by meal so you can easily tell what you'll need for each meal.  Items used in multiple meals will remain black.  Click on the links for recipes.

8. I have the great fortune of working for a family that allows me to spend as much as I see fit on food.  Though I make every attempt to spend their money wisely and "shop the sales" I by no means am on a budget and there are no guarantees that my menus are budget friendly.

9. I do my best to vary the types of meals we eat during the week.  We only do one pasta dish, and try to hit chicken, beef and either turkey, pork or fish so we aren't constantly eating one type of meat.  Also, my girls are NOT picky.  For the most part, they eat what I put in front of them, and they love vegetables.  We have a rule that we'll try something three separate times before we decide to cross it off the list.  Each child has the ability to pick one meal a week but I have the power to veto it if its too similar to something else on the menu or we had it the previous week.  I plan menus 2 weeks in advance so I'm not scrambling Monday morning to come up with dinner.  I use this weekly planner page to keep track of things and paper clip the menu to the corresponding week in my planner.

10. Feel free to post questions/suggestions in the comments and I'll get back to you.

Here is my menu for next week: September 24-30

Monday: Sausages* and garlic mashed potatoes with green beans
*I get smoked Thuringer sausages from the local meet market

Tuesday: Pulled Pork Sammies (CP) with slaw and fresh peppers
My girls love fresh sliced red peppers and they are perfect for this meal.

Wednesday: Lasagna (CP) bread and broccoli
First, I double the meat and sauce mixture and put half in the freezer.  Later, you can pull it out, let it thaw and quickly assemble the rest in minutes.  Where the lasagna recipe calls for egg, I use a little olive oil instead.  I also sautee onion and garlic with the ground beef and sometimes I'll throw some carrots into a food processor then stir that into the meat as well, never hurts to sneak in a little extra veggies!  For soft buttery bread, slice bread, spread with softened butter (and garlic if you like) wrap in foil and place in oven for 10 min at 350.  Frozen broccoli lightly steamed with garlic powder is a perfect and quick addition to the meal.

Thursday: Chicken Soup (x2 and freeze 1/2) Cheese biscuits
For chicken soup, I don't use a recipe, I marinate the chicken in some sort of salad dressing over night then place in large pot with stock, a whole onion, carrots and celery, herbs that seem appropriate (basil, parsley, rosemary thyme, etc) and a spoonful of minced garlic then I cook until chicken is done.  I "pull" the chicken with two forks and chop onion, then at this point I put half the chicken and veggies in a freezer-proof container with only enough stock to cover.  When you pull out of freezer you can add more stock and the noodles at that time.  I actually boil the noodles in a separate pot and add to the stock/veggie/chicken pot, along with the zucchini, a few minutes before serving.

Grocery List:

6 Thuringer sausages
4 lb pork shoulder
2 lb ground beef (I use 97/3)
4-5lb boneless skinless chicken breasts
15 oz ricotta
Wheel shaped pasta (this is what my girls like in the chicken soup)
Kaiser rolls
Crusty bread (I use Jewel (Albertsons) french bread)
Cole Slaw or cabbage slaw (I get mine at a local deli, its red cabbage and vinegar based)
Celery
zucchini
bisquick
potatoes
fresh green beans
red peppers
tomato paste
3 onions
2 Jars spaghetti sauce
parmesan
shredded mozerella
lasagna noodles
chicken broth (low sodium)
carrots (I use baby carrots that I put in lunches)
frozen broccoli
cheddar cheese

My Past Life

Lucy asked me the other night what I was in my past life.  Looking at this as a moment to speak some Jesus into her life, I answered her with a very serious, "I didn't have a past life." To which she shook her head, looked at me with that sideways glance that says trouble is brewing, and whispered, "I understand, but sometimes its fun to pretend, isn't it."  As she then glanced at her little sisters and added, "for them."

OH!!!  We're in pretend mode/imagination land...sometimes it's hard for me to tell!

So, after thinking a moment I said, "Well, I was most definitely a mermaid in my past life."  Which received rave reviews from Pho and Mia.  Lucy was less than impressed.  So I added, "And I could sing too."  Which got me thinking..."I was Little Mermaid in my past life!!!"

The crowd roared with approval!!

Lucy got a serious look on her face, eyes focused, nose wrinkled ever so slightly, brow furrowed...her thinking face.  Little did I know, but she was about to take all the wind out of my sails...

"It's like you're the exact opposite from your past life.  You aren't a mermaid, you can't sing, you breathe air, you have legs, you can't get a husband, your dad is dead instead of your mom and instead of being babysat, you're a babysitter...wow!!  Everything is the exact opposite!!"  Thanks Lucy.

Everything I don't have  in this life...

The little girls and I decided that we were all mermaids; the singing sisters portrayed in the movie.  Lucy again did not like that idea..."I was not a mermaid!" she said.  Now, it was my turn to rain on her parade.  "Lucy, you were the seagull, Scuttle." Again, huge applause from the peanut(free) gallery, Pho and Mia, but huge displeasure from Lucy.

We also decided that Clover, the family german shepherd, was Prince Eric's dog and that's why she likes me so much in this life--I married her owner in our past lives.  The girls' dad (my boss) was determined to be the old butler guy...jury is still out on their mom (my boss) as we can't make her Ursula...we'd all be grounded/fired for that one...

Kids...I tell ya, they sure do make dinner entertaining!  And I thought it was going to be a boring night of homemade chicken alfredo...boy was I wrong!

Pinterest Thursday

The past few weeks I've been moving things to my BTDT Board left and right.  See...my BTDT board is for "Been There, Done That" pins.  Yeah, yeah...it's my abbreviated way of saying I've "done" a pin.

Here are a few desserts I've made...all with rave reviews...click on each photo for link to recipe and see how many stars (*) I rated it out of 5!

Oreo Treats (Think rice krispy but replace the krispies with Oreos!) ****

"Slutty Brownies" I renamed them: Triple Layer Bars.  *****

Peanut Butter Pretzels ****

Note: Pho has an egg and peanut allergy so we recreated the Triple Layer Bars using Cherrybrook Kitchen products and they turned out amazing as well!

Click here to follow me on Pinterest.

Supper Nanny?

I think I just handed down the world's greatest "punishment" to our dear Lucy.  For the past two days (after returning from a 4 day school canoe trip) she has been nothing but sass.  The amount of disrespect she has shown me in the past 24+ hours has been ridiculous.  I warned her several times, but to no avail.

Finally, on the car ride home from school, I had had enough.  I told her I was going to take away a privilege.  Last time it was Harry Potter...all 7 of them.  She was devastated.  I made her pull each one (she has multiples of some) off her shelf and give them to me.  She was sobbing.  Mind you, I didn't take away reading-her one true love-I simply took away reading Harry Potter.  For 3 days.  Oh, she died!

This afternoon she immediately asked what the punishment was.  I drew a blank.  I couldn't pull the Harry Potter trick again, but what would work this time?  I told her I'd let her know when I'd figured it out...I figure there's no shame is saying I need time to think about it-hits home the fact that I don't have punishments "at the ready" because their behavior rarely needs correcting...right?

All evening she asked what the punishment was.  Still nothing had come to me.

Finally I figured it out.

I told her to sit on the couch and to remain there until I notified her that the punishment was complete.

I gathered her two little sisters, booted up my computer and let the punishment being.

Amelia, Phoebe and I sang along (at the top of our lungs) and danced to one of our favorite songs...the one, the only, Say My Name.

See, Lucy HATES my singing, almost as much as she hates my dancing.  The little girls and I had a blast and poor Lucy kept saying "This is torture!" to which I replied, "You sassing me the past two days has been torture."

Lucy enduring her "punishment"

Surely, you won't find this recommended in any parenting books.  So, I'm unorthodox.  I doubt she'll ever forget the time her nanny punished her with singing and dancing.

Remind Me Who I Am

I have loved this song since the first time I heard it.

It never gets old.  I could listen to it's message every single day for the rest of my life and still need the constant reminder of who I am.  And whose I am.

I'm so thankful that I serve a patient God who will continue to remind me who He created me to be, no matter how many times I ask.

Click here for an article explaining the meaning behind the song and it's tie-in to Romans 7:17-25

Romans 7:17-25

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging waragainst the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Guest Post: Shattered, Part 2

To read Shattered, Part 1, click here.

“You okay?” I asked Alexa.

“Yeah,” she replied. “What happened to Elizabeth?”

When I got home I checked my email. I had one message, from some character that called herself “The Shatterer.” It was a little cheesey. There was some stuff about breaking my friends and if I don’t give her the symbol worn by Elizabeth I would be in big trouble. But what really worried me was the little handwritten note with the words “give it to me or she shall perish” on it. Below was an address, and the date of next Monday.

Monday of the next week Jason and Opal didn’t show up at Science. I asked Kelley, who was in Maggie’s fourth period Math class, if she was there. She said no, and also told me about the article on the internet that mentioned Jason, Maggie and Opal’s disappearance. I couldn’t tell Elizabeth about it because she was so tense these days, and also because of the crack-like tattoos that were appearing all over her. I continued on with school in a trance-like state, and managed to get home without calling or texting any of my friends. I opened the door at our address, and looked around the kitchen and the living room for Elizabeth. She had to be in her bedroom, unless she had disappeared like the others. There she was, lying in bed with those horrible cracks running along her face. She held a little wooden box.

“Elizabeth!” I yelled, and ran to sit on her bed.

“Listen. I only have so much time. Adrienne is the Shatterer. It’s what she does. She is summoned by the Devil Himself from the Underworld to go up and Shatter people to get Him what He wants. This time it was this,” Elizabeth said, and from underneath her shirt she pulled a strange necklace shaped like a pair of wings. “It could bring the Devil out from the Underworld. I was given this to protect it, and now since Adrienne had cracked me, I will Shatter soon.”

“No, Elizabeth! I need you,” I begged.

“You have Mom, and Dad, and Alexa,” Elizabeth said, fastening the necklace around my neck. “Oh, and, one last gift.” She gave me the little box. I opened it and saw that it was divided into four parts. Three were filled with powder and shards. One pile was green, another blue, and the the last pink.

“Maggie, Jason and Opal were Shattered,” Elizabeth said softly. I blinked away tears. “Is the last section for…for…you?” I shut the box. I was so mad. Mad at Elizabeth, mad at Adrienne, mad at Jason, Opal, and Maggie. I took a deep breath, and kissed Elizabeth’s forehead. She smiled. I closed my eyes, and heard the sound of glass breaking.

“So she was just…gone?” Alexa asked.

“Shattered, yes,” I replied. I snuggled deeper underneath my quilt and sighed. No more pushing feeling.

“Night, Alexa,” I whispered.

“Night, Carlie.” I closed my eyes.

In the morning a crack had appeared on Alexa’s upper lip.      

By: Lucy (almost 13 years old)

  

Waiting For This...

At a friend's recommendation, I've been receiving the Heartlight Morning and Evening  email devotionals of Charles Spurgeon.  Last week one of the am devos really stuck out so I thought I'd share it. (Bold, mine) 

"In the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world." Philippians 2:15

We use lights to make manifest. A Christian man should so shine in his life, that a person could not live with him a week without knowing the gospel. His conversation should be such that all who are about him should clearly perceive whose he is, and whom he serves; and should see the image of Jesus reflected in his daily actions. Lights are intended for guidance. We are to help those around us who are in the dark. We are to hold forth to them the Word of life. We are to point sinners to the Saviour, and the weary to a divine resting-place. Men sometimes read their Bibles, and fail to understand them; we should be ready, like Philip, to instruct the inquirer in the meaning of God's Word, the way of salvation, and the life of godliness. Lights are also used for warning. On our rocks and shoals a light-house is sure to be erected. Christian men should know that there are many false lights shown everywhere in the world, and therefore the right light is needed. The wreckers of Satan are always abroad, tempting the ungodly to sin under the name of pleasure; they hoist the wrong light, be it ours to put up the true light upon every dangerous rock, to point out every sin, and tell what it leads to, that so we may be clear of the blood of all men, shining as lights in the world. Lights also have a very cheering influence, and so have Christians. A Christian ought to be a comforter, with kind words on his lips, and sympathy in his heart; he should carry sunshine wherever he goes, and diffuse happiness around him.



All I can say is, Amen Mr. Spurgeon, Amen!

Pinterest Thursday!

A little insight into what I think is funny and how I view my life...please don't be offended...or do...it's your choice...

Yes, yes indeed I have thought this...

Thank you Pinterest for ruining my life!

My besties and I have been wanting a reality show for years!

I've been known to get hangry from time to time...please disregard anything I've said.

I rarely feel like my life is together....

I LOVE sleeping.  Plus, I don't wanna die...

Follow me on Pinterest here!

Come To Me

When I first heard Hold Me by Jamie Grace I kind of wrote her off as a One (semi) Hit Wonder.  Turns out I was all wrong. I like this new song of hers MUCH better than Hold Me, which I did enjoy.

This song sings of the promises of Matthew 11:28-30:

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Remembering...

It's the 11 year anniversary of the largest terrorist attack on US soil.  Who could ever forget 9/11/2001? I certainly won't.  I was living in Denver at the time, my dad (Papa) called and screamed into the phone "there are planes flying into buildings!!!" I freaked out...I thought he meant in Seattle, where my family lives.  Soon enough, the tv was on and I was glued to the coverage for the next several hours, days, weeks...just like every other American.

As unforgettably horrible as that day was, remembering the one year anniversary in 2002 is almost just as hard.  I was staying at my parent's house, taking care of Papa while Mom was back in school (I come from a family of teachers) and though I lived across the state, I put my life on hold to spend time with my incredibly sick father.  We spent days watching tv on his bed, talking, sitting on the porch swing watching the birds at the feeders, listening to the numerous wind chimes Papa had hung around the deck.  It was a time I will never forget.

On September 11, 2002 Papa was nearing the end but he still loved watching his tv.  He normally had the bedroom tv tuned into The Food Network, while the kitchen tv was turned to a local station so when he made his way out for a snack or to refill his water cup, he was treated to local news, soap operas or in the afternoon-Judge Judy.  This was his routine, and if you've ever met me, or my father, you know that messing with our routine makes us about as happy as a cat in water.

This day though, The Food Network wasn't airing the regularly scheduled programming.  It was showing a solid color screen with a sentence or two recognizing the events of the previous year.  I clearly remember Papa's reaction: I know it's important to remember, but come on already, lets get on with it.  Where are my shows?

Finally he changed the channel and we joined the rest of the world as Peter Jennings, or Tom Brokaw took us minute by minute through the events that were still so fresh in our minds, and we listened as they spoke comforting words to a hurting nation still looking for answers to the unimaginable.

Every few minutes the tv would flip over to the still screen of The Food Network and quickly back again.  "By noon" Papa thought, "Surely, by noon they'll have the normal shows back on the air." We spent the day that way...sitting next to each other on the bed, watching the buildings fall all over again, listening to each victim's name read, still trying to wrap our minds around what our eyes had seen and our brains had been replaying for the past year.  Wondering when The Food Network would feel it had appropriately recognized the anguish and terror our country had been through and would put Rachel Rae on so we could learn how to make yet another meal in 30 minutes.

Certainly 9-11-2001 is a date that will never be forgotten.  But so is 9-11-2002.  For me anyway.

Today, I remember the 11th anniversary of 9/11.  But part of me uses it as a marker of time...if this is the 11th anniversary of 9/11, then we're approaching the 10 year anniversary of Papa's death.  Just a few weeks after Papa and I mourned the events of the previous year, I lost my Papa.

As a nation we come together today and mourn the lives that were ended that day, we cherish the heroes who ran in when everyone else ran out.  And we admire the brave who took it upon themselves to prevent even further destruction.  We acknowledge that in some way, big or small, it changed all of us, it changed our country, and the world as we knew it.

Personally, I begin the hardest few weeks of the year--the weeks leading up to the anniversary of Papa's death.  And though he slipped quietly away in his own peaceful bedroom, and the anniversary of his passing doesn't garner world wide attention or prevent networks from showing their normal programs, the loss of my father stopped my world as I knew it and has forever changed the course of my life.

Praying God's comfort and peace on this hurting nation and world.
He is the ultimate healer and comforter.

Guest Post: Shattered, A Short Story

Lucy, my favorite almost 13 year old, has finally agreed to be a guest blogger on my blog.  The following is a short story she wrote (in under an hour) for a class assignment.  I think she's brilliant, what do you think?  Enjoy!

Shattered

 I turned over. “Alexa? Still awake?” It was a moment before Alexa’s soft breathing stopped and I heard the rustling of sheets.

        “What, Carlie?” She asked. I could hear the telltale sounds of sleep in her voice; maybe she hadn’t been faking it.

“Do you believe in demons? Like the ones summoned from the Underworld to…break your heart?”

“No, of course not. Carlie, are you feeling okay?” There was the sound of creaking springs and Alexa’s dark shape navigated around my bookshelf and desk before she sat on my bed. I felt her cool hand against my forehead and I knew she felt my racing pulse and high temperature.

“Carlie!” He hand slipped down to my cheek, which was hot with anticipation, or fear. I didn’t really know.

“I need to tell you, Alexa. It’s like something is pushing me from the inside, pushing me to spill,” I whispered. My heart beat faster.

“Okay, Carlie. If it going to make you feel better,” Alexa said. She pulled up my quilt and laid on her side, like she had done countless sleepovers before we got too big to share. I straightened up, and smiled. It felt strange, because I hadn’t smiled since…what, three months ago?

“You remember Elizabeth, right?” I started. Without waiting for an answer, I kept going. “Well, her death wasn’t an accident.” My voice dropped. “It was my fault.”

“Geez, Carlie, don’t be so hard on yourself,” Alexa said sympathetically. She reached for my hand and squeezed. I pulled away.

“All my fault.” I closed my eyes and went back, speaking as I recalled the last two weeks before my sister’s demise.

“Come on, Carlie!” Elizabeth shouted. I kicked harder, and as the wall approached, I put my head down and in a pure sprint I touched second. I saw the pink cap and shiny gold goggles of the girl who beat me by a millisecond. She was smirking at me with chapped lips, and the way people were cheering for her was a little scary. When I looked up at my mother, her eyes were focused on the winner. She was clapping mechanically, and smiling a smile that stretched across her face in a disgusting way. My eyes found my coach. She had the same wide grin as my mother plastered across her face and was clapping in a way that made her look possesed. I yanked my goggles off and looked at the girl. She had taken her goggles off too and was treading straight upright, eyes closed as of she was drinking in the applause. The horn sounded, and the next heat stepped up to the starting blocks. It was time for us to get out.  I was out before anyone else. Ms. First Place was out soon after me, but not before I saw her in the water.

She wasn’t treading, just floating.

Like a corpse.

Like she was dead. 

After the meet was done, I was sitting on a stair to the parking lot when Creepy-Girl came up to me. Up close, she seemed more like a corpse then when I saw her in the pool after the two hundred breaststroke. Her eyes were like black pools of water, holding fear and evil deep inside them. Her hair hung like a crow’s wing: thin, sleek and sharp. I didn’t even think it was cleaner than a wing of a crow.

“Good swim, Caralyn,” she said. I nodded at her, a little creeped out. She knew my name? My full name, no less!

“Thanks.” Though to me it sounded more like a question.

“I’m Adrienne, by the way.” Her voice was no more than a whisper, like something evil on the wind as it passes through the trees. I also noted that her name was uncommon, rare at the most. She smiled as if she could read my thoughts. Her chapped lips turned up at the corners, and then I realized that her lips were not actually chapped. They were tattooed with little white lines, spidering and twisting in odd formations. I smiled back at her and picked up my bag. I planned to walk in the other direction, but I saw three kids from my swim team; and all of them had tattoos across their lips, even though I swore they didn’t have them last time I saw them, but here they were, smiling creepily at Adrienne like she was their savior. Now that they were closer, I saw that they were Jason, Maggie and Opal. Maggie and Opal had raced against Adrienne, and lost. If they had any sense left (which they clearly didn’t) they would've avoided even being near Adrienne. Jason hadn’t raced against her but he was against tattoos. I started freaking out and turned the other direction, towards the pool, where I saw Elizabeth. She held out her hand and Adrienne and her new friends backed up really fast. Elizabeth came to me and together we walked into the parking lot. As we passed Adrienne, I swear she muttered something like “geis.”

Read the rest of Shattered next Monday!